Beyond Rehab

At times, even after several years of sobriety, the pressure to drink or use drugs can build up and lead us to feel we need help again.

A few days ago a close friend called me for advice. Everyone in his family drinks. Normally that is not an issue for him because he is solid in his choice not to drink or do drugs anymore and being around alcohol on occasion doesn’t bother him. But this year, when confronted with the actual substances day after day after day (he extended his vacation time) it has been a real struggle. When he called I recognized that his struggle was not with substances. I could hear he wasn’t questioning whether or not he should drink. He was feeling isolated, alone, and ignored. Everyone knew he had problems but he felt like they all thought that just because he had accomplished the heroic task of quitting he was now like Superman and could easily be around unlimited alcohol (or drugs) with no effects.

“You can almost inject the drugs in that boy now and it wouldn’t phase him one bit. That Joe, boy he sure is great! Now pour me another shot of Whiskey please….”

He told me—and I’m the same way—that he doesn’t mind the constant drinking and the “Superman” assumptions for a night or two. “Yes. ” I agreed. “We are both solid in our choice not to drink or do drugs anymore. But to be challenged every frickin’ night? Well that can be a little rough on a person.”

I asked him, “Well… how important is it for you to drink right now?”

After several years of abstaining from alcohol the answer was immediate and so clear. Drinking was not important to him at all. Feeling acknowledged, cared for, important, included, and loved were what “Joe” was longing for. The alcohol instantly became an insignificant, besides the point, factor.

Between the two of us that night, Joe and I were able to rewarm his spirit so that he felt content and comfortable in doing what he was doing—not drinking.

So, if you become overwhelmed at any point, take a moment and ask yourself, “How important is drinking or using drugs to me?”

Really….