Posts Tagged “drinking pressure”
Posted by admin in aa alternatives, addiction, alcohol, alcoholic, celebrations, drug addiction, drugs, dry drunk, friends, holiday drinking, recovery, rehab, substance abuse, temptation
 I wrote an article for Drinking Diaries today, “a place where women can spill their drinking stories–from lamp-swinging hilarity to bottle-under-the-bed despair.”
My piece is called “How to Drink Around an Ex-Drinker.” Read, read, read… spread the word, have a party!
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/2010/09/20/4986/
Tags: aa alternatives, addiction, addiction help, addiction is not a disease, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholic friend, drinking pressure, ex-drinker, helping people with addictions, recovery, substance abuse, temptation
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 An interesting thing happened just hours after I posted my last blog on moderate drinking. I was at a gathering of old friends I was meeting for the first time—friends of friends—so the spirit was celebratory. There was plenty of alcohol and the person going to the store was taking orders for more. “I’ll just do shots so get a bottle of….” “I like Heinekin but Amstel is good too….”
I was listening and thinking, “I wish I could say SKYY Vodka. I loved SKYY Vodka….”
And then began the hour or more of intense and aggravating self-talk so that I would not decide to drink. Not that I would have done it right there, but I could have made the decision then to drink as soon as I got home.
I thought it was interesting that after going on in my last post about the amount of work moderate drinking would be for me, I was confronted with at least an equal amount of work in order that I not drink at all.
The end of the story—and the end of my work that night—was that the husband confided in me that his wife, the hostess of the party, was a full-blown alcoholic. In fact, her last husband had died from an Alcohol related illness.
Wow. So I was having a reasonable reaction given that I was in the company of my old behavior—the excitement of drinking together was the sweet side and the husband dying of an alcoholic related disease was the poisonous side. When I connected all that, my work was done. I easily enjoyed the rest of the party.
Tags: addiction, alcohol, drinking pressure, friends, moderate drinking, recovery, substance abuse, temptation
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 At times, even after several years of sobriety, the pressure to drink or use drugs can build up and lead us to feel we need help again.
A few days ago a close friend called me for advice. Everyone in his family drinks. Normally that is not an issue for him because he is solid in his choice not to drink or do drugs anymore and being around alcohol on occasion doesn’t bother him. But this year, when confronted with the actual substances day after day after day (he extended his vacation time) it has been a real struggle. When he called I recognized that his struggle was not with substances. I could hear he wasn’t questioning whether or not he should drink. He was feeling isolated, alone, and ignored. Everyone knew he had problems but he felt like they all thought that just because he had accomplished the heroic task of quitting he was now like Superman and could easily be around unlimited alcohol (or drugs) with no effects.
“You can almost inject the drugs in that boy now and it wouldn’t phase him one bit. That Joe, boy he sure is great! Now pour me another shot of Whiskey please….”
He told me—and I’m the same way—that he doesn’t mind the constant drinking and the “Superman” assumptions for a night or two. “Yes. ” I agreed. “We are both solid in our choice not to drink or do drugs anymore. But to be challenged every frickin’ night? Well that can be a little rough on a person.”
I asked him, “Well… how important is it for you to drink right now?”
After several years of abstaining from alcohol the answer was immediate and so clear. Drinking was not important to him at all. Feeling acknowledged, cared for, important, included, and loved were what “Joe” was longing for. The alcohol instantly became an insignificant, besides the point, factor.
Between the two of us that night, Joe and I were able to rewarm his spirit so that he felt content and comfortable in doing what he was doing—not drinking.
So, if you become overwhelmed at any point, take a moment and ask yourself, “How important is drinking or using drugs to me?”
Really….
Tags: addiction, alcohol, drinking pressure, drugs, holiday drinking, recovery, substance abuse, temptation
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