Beyond Rehab

“I wish I was like you, easily amused…” NIRVANA, ALL APOLOGIES

I’ve always liked that line because it was so right on for me and the rasp in Cobain’s voice really makes it.

After a significant period of time using substances to fulfill desires and needs, people temporarily lose their ability to experience joy in anything outside of their drug.

For many years I had a difficult time caring about your daughter’s graduation or your son’s wedding. I wanted to. I really did. I felt sorry that I didn’t care more but I was just not interested.

I was interested in my smokes, my wine, my beer, my mostly vodka Bloody Mary, and maybe my latest lover. But mainly my narrow focus was on making sure I had my supplies and using them. I had become numb to the ordinary pleasures of life.

My “stuff” had become the only area of my life where I was able to feel or find anything close to joy so of course it was important to me—I was desperate for it.

After a long period of time drinking or using drugs we make a switch. We go from the capacity to find joy in many areas of life to the capacity to find pleasure only in—or associated with—our drug.

The good news—and this is VERY good news—is that our ability to feel joy outside of our drug, drink, sex, food…is not destroyed when we numb with substances. It’s lying dormant waiting for us to stimulate it.

That is why I insist that the emphasis in recovery must be joy. We need to know that there is pleasure, hope, goodness and joy in other areas of life besides alcohol or drugs.

When healing addictions It is not overly self-indulgent to bring joy and pleasures back into your life—it is necessary.

In fact, self-indulgence itself is not wrong. Indulging in true love, kindness and compassion is never wrong.

So… “easily amused?”

I can’t say…one must retain their sense of humor.

But, open to other pleasures outside of our drug? Yes, Definitely.