Beyond Rehab

I never call myself an alcoholic—not in the present tense. I am discovering amazing qualities about myself that perhaps I might have discovered at a younger age had I chosen not to drink myself into oblivion every night and year after year. But even then I was much more than alcoholic. I was just mostly too numb and too sick to know it.

Now I have a need to support my growth with positive and uplifting adjectives about myself, and name calling with things such as “alcoholic” or “drunk” are not only unfactual in this moment, but those words bring me down.

I understand that it is useful for many who no longer drink to say they are an alcoholic or a drug addict. It serves as a reminder of where they should not go—even one sip of alcohol or one shot of heroin. That I can really understand. And I can admit that it would not be difficult for me to fall back into my old habit of constant intoxication if I were to allow it. But that’s my point. When I am thriving on the inner strengths and goodness of myself—supported by positive adjectives and actions—I naturally refrain from self-destructive behavior.

So what is my answer when asked, “Do you think you’re an alcoholic?”

My answer is “No.”

And another spin on a well known line from the movie Forrest Gump, “My name’s Amy. People call me Amy.”

I read the following on a recovery site’s “treatment plan” web page -

“Until someone can assist us with discovering our hidden pain or trauma and formulate a treatment program to heal those areas, it is most likely that we will continue abusing substances to self-medicate the underlying condition.”

Baloney. That is precisely the approach that had kept me dependent, confused, in deep despair, and feeling generally hopeless for the greater part of my life.

Until someone can assist us with discovering our hidden greatness—or until we can do that for ourselves—we will have a much lower chance of success in overcoming addictions. Discovering our inner greatness is the healing and most direct path to recovery. That is how I have strengthened and healed myself from so many years of debilitating substance abuse. That is how I believe anyone with addictions can heal themselves.