Take a look at the image to the left. There are two Amys over there. One Amy has a supremely perfect brain; the other Amy has a slightly impeded brain—a brain predisposed to making impulsive, risky choices that lead to addictive behaviors. Both Amys are feeling terrible; they are bothequally in total despair and emotional pain.
For a variety of reasons, both Amys—one with a perfect brain and one with a not so perfect brain—decide to drink alcohol in the hopes of having some pleasure to take them away from their despair and emotional pain. And, as alcohol usually does, it worked: while drinking, both Amys felt that life was better. So they each continue ingesting alcohol in large amounts until they are dependent on its effects that inspire at least some feelings of pleasure in their otherwise cheerless lives.
Now looking at both girls—Amy with the supremely perfect brain and Amy with the slightly impeded brain—what would you say is the most beneficial approach to help them stop ingesting alcohol? Given what you now know about the girls—they have slightly different brain tendencies, yet both turn to alcohol for upliftment—does it really make sense to search their brains for the presence of a disease, the “alcoholism” disease? Or would it make more sense to address their feelings of lack, loneliness, sadness and despair, with love, kindness, compassion, expression and emotional guidance and support?
If you have read my book you know what I believe—address the girls’ feelings of despair, of course.
I’m not suggesting it’s fruitless to research physiological brain function or that there haven’t been some scientific findings and correlations between brains and addictive behaviors; I’m saying I don’t believe brain/addiction correlations matter when quitting an addictive behavior.
I’m certain the actual gush and mush of our most amazing and wonderful brains is not where we will find the solution to addictive behavior. It will be in conscious desire and feeling driven actions and choices we make in each moment we live and breathe.
The challenge is not in faulty brain functioning; the challenge is the inner desperation we feel to escape whatever we believe is the badness that is about to eat us, destroy us, annihilate our being. When there is a quick pleasure that can be substituted for such a horror, it’s not surprising so many people choose the quick pleasures of sex, food, drugs and alcohol to mask their fears.
So if you suffer from an addictive behavior, I wouldn’t suggest holding out, waiting for scientific research to come along and save the day. If you are struggling with addiction and know of something to do to enhance your brain power—omega 3s and things like that—by all means, give it a shot. However, I also suggest that you try—for a consistent period of time—what I did when I finally quit for good: reach in to find feelings of love for self; reach out to find love and comfort from others as you learn that you can love and comfort yourself naturally, healthfully, and any time you choose.
In response to my recent article, Dr. Drew Pinsky’s Authoritarian Approach to Charlie Sheen, I received an assortment of comments on the various websites where it was posted. I also received several very personal messages relating to the article.
In one message a retired police officer described the difficult position he was in when forced to decide whether or not to take a person into custody to be put on a psychiatric hold. He recounted one occasion where the gentleman in question remained so convincingly calm during the visit he eventually left the scene. Within hours the man killed himself.
In another email a young woman, “Amanda,” wrote with deep appreciation to thank me for writing the article. In the article I expressed concern about the way people (particularly young people) who are forced into treatment lose their rights. She said the same sort of thing happened to her when she was locked up at age 15 and then made to take anti-depressants. Soon after she tried to kill herself with those prescribed anti-depressants. Her troubles continued for many years thereafter.
In one breath my heart opened to be hearing from one of my “kind,” then collapsed with crushing agony as I read the following line: “As crazy as this sounds…I think they took my soul. I used to look in the mirror and see something in my eyes that isn’t there anymore.”
She, and all the others—past, present and FUTURE—are the reason we must continue our efforts to bring awareness to the emotionally violent addiction/depression recovery-treatment-industry.
Even though I don’t like this line of work—I don’t get paid, it breaks my heart, and I’m up against government policy—“Amanda’s” words, which were once my own, is why I stay.
One more time from “Amanda”: “I think they took my soul. I used to look in the mirror and see something in my eyes that isn’t there anymore.”
I told her I didn’t believe her soul was lost and quoted one of my songs* written specifically to this point. And, although she needed to know they truly hadn’t taken her soul, what she could really use now is for others to be her mirror—to reflect her goodness and worth back to her with kindness, compassion and understanding.
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*WHERE DO YOU GO
And where do you go
When you melt into your mind
And how does it feel
Are you free or are you blind
And what do you do
When every way looks hollow
Well cry for yourself
And then possess your fear of sorrow
Cause’ I don’t think that they can take everything
So keep your hopes your dreams
Keep anything
And can you listen to your own
Take your freedom and bring it home
Bring it home
Bring it home
Bring it home
And once in a while
I can see behind your style
You’re quite mighty brave
For yourself you have enslaved
So dream as you will
For there your power will be saved
Do you know you’re okay
Somehow you worked it out that way
Still I have a dream
That you would come to me and say
I don’t think that they can take everything
I kept my hopes my dreams
I kept everything
And I listened to my own
I took my freedom and brought it home
Brought it home
Brought it home
Do you know you’re okay
Somehow we worked it out that way
There are many people who feel that it helps their addiction-recovery process to think that their addiction is a permanent “disease.” I am not one of those of people. I find it disempowering to think of myself as having a lifelong addiction disease. Typically, people who believe they have the “disease” of addiction also believe they need to be in the addiction-recovery process for the rest of their life.
I do not accept that belief.
But is it a belief—or is there some medical basis or objective reason why we need to call addiction a disease?
This past week, Dr. Gabor Maté, my favorite M.D. (and author of the quote on the cover of my book), was here in Los Angeles for the first time. Dr. Maté is a brilliant thinker, a pioneer in the field of addiction and its origins, and, a most compassionate human being. Who better to ask about the word “disease” in relation to addiction than he?
So I did.
In a room full of hundreds of psychologists (my biggest nightmare in the past) I took the mic and asked the doctor, “Dr. Mate, based on your explanation that addiction is a disease, but one that is created after we are born (beginning in the womb in some cases, relating to stress hormones released by the mother), could we not call it a ‘condition’ instead?”
The reason I asked that question is because in today’s world, the notion of “disease,” as it relates to addiction, implies that it is an unending problem, an implication I’ve always found to be crippling in my healing process. “Condition,” without the qualifier “permanent” is much more palatable to me.
Dr. Maté’s reply was that we’re talking about words here, and that, sure, I can call it a “condition” if I want. However, he pointed out that there is a biological basis for addiction. He said when a person is subjected to extreme stress, particularly as their brain is developing, there is an actual physiological process going on that sets the conditions for addiction. That is the biological basis for calling it a disease. But this does not mean that addiction is a disease that a person cannot get well from. In fact, in his talk, Dr. Maté pointed out that 20% of the soldiers returning from Vietnam were addicted to heroin, but a few years later only 1% were still addicted. Those that were still addicted were shown to have abuse in their childhood (severe stress during the development of their brain). That means they did not develop fully the natural response to create opiates in stressful situations—which would have helped them bear the traumatic experience of war more easily. In other words, there was a 95% cure rate among the addicted veterans. Cure rate.
In my book I mention plasticity, the ability of the brain to “repair” itself by creating new connections for dopamine/serotonin uptake (among other chemicals and processes). Dr. Maté concurs, but, of course, with a much more detailed and scientific understanding and explanation than I lay out.
There was a time when the term “disease” was used in order to give the addict a break: “Don’t fire the guy, he’s got a disease, a real problem.” In today’s current addiction-treatment-recovery world, however, the word has come to imply that we are helpless to do anything about our addiction and so we will need support in this area for the rest of our lives. I do not believe that is so. There may come a time when the implications of the word shifts again, back to a more compassionate understanding, but until that occurs, and given the implications of the way the word is used today, I’m not comfortable calling addiction a disease.
However, based on what Dr. Maté said, I’m making a slight adjustment to my viewpoint on whether or not to call addiction a “disease.” I do not object to the fact that there is a biological component to addiction. But I do object to the social aspect of calling addiction a disease, which implies that addicts cannot heal themselves. In that sense I refuse to call it a disease.
My experience with programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and its 12-Steps is that they use the “disease” concept of addiction to make sure the person involved with them stays involved for their entire life. This contrasts to a true healer, who would work to help the person become independent so they would no longer need them.
In the end we all decide for ourselves how we want to think about addiction—whether we think of it as a disease or a condition. The important thing is not what we call it but whether what we call it helps us heal and become whole or keeps us in a broken state.
So should we call addiction a disease, condition, or a behavior? Personally, I’m not calling addiction a disease, but whichever word you use, as long as the word inspires hope and healing inside of you, it doesn’t really matter.
“That’s my vindication—is the truth. The truth always wins. It comes out no matter what. No matter what you do, or how many years go by, or how you lie, or be lied against, the truth is going to out.” —-Patricia Douglas, rape victim of the 1937 MGM scandal and cover-up revealed by her 65 years later in “Girl 27,” a film by David Stenn.
You know when your dog or cat gets a limp or something and you wish he/she could just talk and tell you what hurts, what’s wrong? Well… I wrote a rather smack-face article today. How can the people who have the power to make things better in the addiction-treatment-recovery world do so if they don’t even know what’s wrong? So I’m telling them… Dr. Drew Pinsky’s AUTHORITARIAN Approach on opednews.com
Translation: Anglesey and Gwynedd Recovery Organization, Recovery through activity, hope, friendship and determination…
Remember Huw, who left a comment on my last post? Last night he sent me some information on the recovery charity he co-founded last year in Wales, The Anglesey and Gwynedd Recovery Organization (AGRO). Huw sent me the information in Welsh (which I enjoyed, Welsh is a rare sight here in California) and in English.
My conclusion: I’m impressed.
Not only does AGRO have a fantastic purpose—to give those in recovery a chance to get to know others and take part in various activities—but Huw is a person who is going far and beyond the call of duty in order to help others because he is truly concerned for their well-being.
When I asked Huw if AGRO supported the 12-steps he responded via email, “We don’t do the 12-step program but we do have members from AA, NA, or members who have come to us from rehab, detox or prison. We will help anyone who is traveling the road of recovery, The motto is still the same: Recovery Through Activity. We do suggest that they look at the Smart Recovery model and go on the www.wiredin.org.uk website where I’m now one of their advocates.“
Huw also commented, “I run it (AGRO) in my spare time in the mornings, evenings and weekends and I fund it by working 2 jobs.”
I am just so impressed by Huw’s absolute dedication to helping others regain a sense of joy and purpose in their lives as they let go of drugs and alcohol that I just have to share the news… Huw Harries, Anglesey and Gwynedd Recovery Organization (AGRO), Ynys Môn (Wales), http://wiredin.org.uk/about-us/wired-in-advocates/hugh-harries
Charlie Sheen’s recent appearance in the news criticizing Alcoholics Anonymous has caused yet another flurry of activity in my email, cell phone and sleeping life: He’s crazy; No, he’s right!; What do you think, Amy?; Post something about it; Agree with me!; No! Agree with me!
Uhgh. Every time a celebrity makes headlines with their drug and alcohol related behavior, I want to run by day two. Even if we have a cause, helping people, animals or the environment, it’s important to include other activities in our lives for peace of mind. It’s important to have balance in life. So, here are my thoughts and then I’m off for the day…
It is cruel and unusual punishment to lead people who are struggling with addiction to believe they must go to AA and follow its 12-Step program if they want to be well. That is a LIE. That dogma often prevents people from seeking the help they need.
In my book I share my story of how I have recovered from a truly gnarly, double-decade, life-threatening relationship with drugs and alcohol without AA, 12-Steps, psychiatry or rehab. I wrote it to help all people who struggle with addiction, but especially those who aren’t helped by AA (the internal process of letting go is the same no matter what method you use). That’s where I’m coming from—and that addiction is NOT a disease for goodness sake! I don’t want to fight about it. Defend my experience?? Analyze This!
So, at least for today, I’m changing tracks to my other soul-serving subject: Music. And, if you are feeling alone in your struggle with substances, please know there are more and more options becoming available to you. I have a resource page that I intend to update (after my brief musical hiatus) with more holistic alternative options. Feel free to contribute helpful resource ideas through the contact page.
Have you ever had one of your wildest dreams actually come true? When I was five years old I had the “wild” dream of living with my mother again. For years I was told that was never going to happen and that it could only ever be a fantasy. But, six years later, I found myself shopping for my brand new comforter in Santa Monica, CA where I had just moved to be with my mom again.
Today, I felt a similar sense of “dream come true” to that of the day in the comforter store—only this “wild” dream was not aimed at saving my own suffering. Its purpose is, and has always been, to comfort and help others. I first had the dream when I was eight: Someday I’m going to create a place where other sad, hurt, and lonely children like me can go to feel loved. They won’t need their parents to pay for it, or to transport them there (as in my case, that was not usually possible). My place will have naturally healing activities, (activities that had already proven to me by age eight to be helpful in my own despairing state) things like theater games, music, art, play, talk, and most importantly, genuine kindness from truly compassionate, loving individuals who have zero agenda other than to support and care for everyone there.
As I grew older my dream expanded to include all people who are sad, depressed, and walking on “the lonely path” as I call it in my book. As it turns out, in order to accomplish my “impossible” dream, I am forced to deal with Alcoholics Anonymous. My aspiration to help people is constantly running up against AA totalitarianism, the idea that AA is the only way to quit drinking (drinking being a major hindrance when healing from sadness and depression).
I was made to attend my first AA meeting in 1984 when I was 14, and for more than 20 years after that I was caught up in the terrible, and life-threatening cycle of addiction and “recovery” of which AA is the foundation. AA taught me nothing that I need in order to sustain my health and well-being. It taught me how to need meetings (boring, dull, repetitive meetings at that).
People who are struggling with drugs and alcohol—and those who wish to help them—must be informed that it is absolutely possible to quit drinking and using drugs without ever setting one foot in the rooms of AA. In fact (as it would have been in my case) avoiding AA altogether and instead learning new, healthier ways of handling behavior and emotions may be the better, wiser, safer choice.
Many, many people do not believe addiction is a disease.
Today was a good day…. In line with manifesting my “impossible” dream, I am teaming up with others who are passionate and driven to get the message out there—there are other programs to help you quit drinking besides AA. There are also people like me—lonely path people—who did not use any program at all when they quit drinking (and still don’t). So, today, when I met for the first time with the extremely courageous (and musically gifted, yay!!) stinkin’ thinkin’ participant, massiveattack, I did triple turns inside as I realized that my childhood dream of creating a purely integrity driven healing space for people in despair similar to what was my own is beginning to materialize.
So, unite we are!!! stinkin-thinkin.com is a major hub. Check it out if you need more clarity on what lies under the covers of Alcoholics Anonymous. Massiveattack is filming a documentary (which I will be in), and I have several projects in the works as well. People are banding together to help others find true freedom from addiction. If you’re in the Los Angeles area and want to be involved (in support only, take your debates up with Feinstein and Boxer—as a matter of fact, PLEASE do that!), email me at info@rehabbratpack.com (that’s for Rehab Brat Pack of the 80′s, another project of mine, all related).
Take a look at the image to the left. There are two Amys over there. One Amy has a supremely perfect brain; the other Amy has a slightly impeded brain—a brain predisposed to making impulsive, risky choices that lead to addictive behaviors. Both Amys are feeling terrible; they are both equally in total despair and emotional pain.
There are many people who feel that it helps their addiction-recovery process to think that their addiction is a permanent “disease.” I am not one of those of people. I find it disempowering to think of myself as having a lifelong addiction disease. Typically, people who believe they have the “disease” of addiction also believe they need to be in the addiction-recovery process for the rest of their life.
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